Akatsuki Issues
by magewriter
Summary: The sequel to Deidara's Trouble's! Rated T because of a single swear word that the nameless member says in the second chapter
1. Chapter 1

Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As much as I wish that I did, I don't own anything by Masashi Kishimoto. And, however much this may have strayed from her pictures, this fanfic has still been heavily influenced by Suzimi, who draws the best Akatsuki pics/comics on DeviantART.

My fanfiction may soon be influenced by "Akatsuki: The Musical," which can be easily found on Youtube, also known as the Animepunch Masq Skit 10. Don't try to find it by typing in "masquerade" because the person who posted that version (which has superior lighting and sound) spelled it wrong. It gives theme music to each of the Akasuki members except for the nameless one and the leader. It may sound odd for me to refer to them that way because I've developed their characters so much, but in the show, it's a huge deal that you've seen one of their silhouettes.

This fanfiction is going to have varying viewpoints. It will start out with Leader's in this chapter (this is the sequel to Deidara's Troubles. Don't read this if you haven't read that because it won't make any sense) and we'll see what happens.

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Ritonno was injured. She had been hurt in the street wearing a formal yukata, completely defenseless without even knives or shurikens.

This bothered Leader more than it should have. Everyone hated the Akatsuki. It was to be expected. The organization was the elite group of ninjas that were going to take over the world. As long as there was enough human greed, there would be an Akatsuki. This had never bothered Leader; he believed that the human will to conquer and steal was what separated them from animals. So what if the Akatsuki killed a few people? So what if they started a few wars and took over a certain aspect of the world's economy? It was all part of their goal.

What disturbed leader was that he was worried for Ritonno. In his mind, he knew that she was going to be perfectly okay and that his other members had been through worse; however, there was something that bothered him in a way that didn't make sense. It couldn't have anything to do with the illusion that she had been put under; Itachi did something similar, and Leader had no problem with it. It was that she had been injured, her and no one else.

Was this an emotion? Leader quickly put the thought out of his mind. He didn't have the time or resources to be swayed by petty things such as emotions. They had meant the downfall of too many people.

What then? Was it simply because she was an Akatsuki member? It couldn't be. He hadn't worried for Zetsu either time that they had been sprayed; he felt a longing to check on Ritonno constantly, to make sure that she was alright, even though he knew that Deidara would tell him if her condition changed.

He found himself eating dinner with the Akatsuki that night, even though he knew that nothing significant would happen. The next morning, he had breakfast in the normal dining area to see if Ritonno was better. But no, Deidara was still taking two bowls of miso downstairs. Leader didn't want to ask about Ritonno because that would show that he had some sort of special interest in her, and that would lower his status in the Akatsuki.

At dinner, however, Deidara helped Ritonno come up the stairs and walk to her seat. When she saw Leader looking at her, confused, she simply smiled and said, "I like to pretend that I'm recovering faster than I really am. I should be okay in a few days; don't worry."

"You shouldn't overexert yourself."

"I'll be fine; trust me." She was still smiling, that laughing-type smile that said that he shouldn't be worried.

But he was.

Perhaps the most annoying thing about his being worried about her was the fact that he was worried about her. It was changing his decisions, and he didn't like it. "Are you sure? You were hurt pretty badly, from what I could tell."

"No, illusions always make me confused. Oh! Itachi, when I'm better, we have to spar." She was looking at him as though this were decided; Leader doubted that Itachi would be able to get out of it.

"Why?"

"Because I want to show you that, in a fair fight, I'm stronger than you. And you can't use your tsukiyomi! Just ninjutsu and physical techniques."

"But… my tsukiyomi is part of my technique."

Ritonno began to glare at him and her tone, when she spoke next, was that of a person who was going to be obeyed. "If you use a single illusion or make me relive a single _second_ of my past, I swear I will kill you." She was greatly transformed from the girl who had come to Leader's room the previous morning, with her soft voice and tiny steps. Ritonno was now a woman to be obeyed; if Itachi didn't play by her rules, which were actually pretty fair, he was going to get it, and _bad._

"Okay, okay, we'll spar without my tsukiyomi when you're in decent health!"

Ritonno smiled. "Good." For some reason, her smile was reassuring to Leader; that confused him, too. Why did he feel so oddly when she was happy or sad? If he were a normal person, he would have thought that he should talk to somebody; however, he was the leader of the Akatsuki, and he somehow thought himself incapable of emotions as normal people felt them, so he didn't realize that he had any such need.

After dinner, Deidara helped Ritonno back to her room – Itachi might have offered if it weren't for her reaction to his picking her up two days before – and Leader retired to his room, where he watched the same soap opera as the rest of the Akatsuki; however, he didn't believe in meaningless channel surfing, so he was asleep by ten o'clock.

In the morning, Ritonno managed (by hanging tightly onto the handrail) to make her own way up the stairs; Deidara made them both miso. Leader wouldn't have known this if he hadn't been downstairs during breakfast.

"Oh! Rei-donno! You come downstairs for breakfast?"

"Not usually."

"I was going to say… You're not really a morning person, are you?"

"I'm waiting for my tea water to heat."

"I know a heating jutsu. I could teach it to you."

"Okay." He walked into the kitchen and got his teakettle, then sat down across from her. "Show me."

"Well, here's the hand position. Then, it's just a normal ninjutsu. Focus on heat."

He imitated her hand sign, they heard the water boiling, and steam began to pour from the spout and the hole in the top.

"Thank you, Ritonno."

"No problem. I've done just about everything there is, so I know all sorts of handy stuff. Is there any more water in that kettle?"

"Plenty."

Ritonno stood up and, even with her limp, managed to get to the cupboard and get the tin of tea leaves.

"Finally, I get to have my morning tea again." She proceeded to take one of the cups that was sitting in the middle of the table (the members set them out every night after dinner) and put a few tea leaves in, then added some water to make her wonderful morning pick-me-up. "Two days is way too long to go without tea."

"It definitely would be."

"Deidara, do you want some?"

"I'm fine with just miso, yeah, and it's done now." He carried the two bowls of miso into the dining area after turning off the stove, then sat down next to Ritonno and handed her a spoon.

"Huzzah. Liquid breakfast. Well, it worked for Deidara, I guess; it can work for me."

"Do you not want miso, yeah?"

"No, it's fine; it's just that I usually have something with rice for breakfast."

"Oh. Rice doesn't really go with miso, yeah."

"I know that. I'll show you some cooking tonight so you won't have to do laundry."

"You noticed, yeah?"

"Of course. I mean, the last time I was gone, you were loopy for a couple days. I think you ingested a little too much detergent."

"I think so, too, yeah."

"Oh! Hey, Hidan. I have a question: are we getting low on laundry detergent?"

Deidara turned around to see that Hidan was, in fact, just entering the kitchen.

"How do you do that?"

"I heard you come up the stairs. For an elite ninja, you're pretty darned clunky in the morning." Ritonno sipped her tea as smugly as was possible under the circumstances.

"Actually, we're just getting to the end of this box."

"Mm-hm."

"What? Are you waiting for me to say something?"

"…And what were you planning to do once you were done with this box?"

"I don't know. Get more?"

"Have you ever bought laundry detergent before?"

"Once, I think. Before you came, the one who finished a box was the one that bought the next, and we barely even washed our clothes anyway." Leader found it amazing that the Akatsuki members were so willing to give Ritonno so much information on such short notice.

"Well, when you do, make sure to buy bio-degradable. That way, if I'm ever gone again, hopefully Deidara won't get completely loopy for two or three days if he has to do laundry."

"He was?"

"Yeah. I think he ingested some of the detergent."

"Suffering is good. It shows Jashin-sama that you are strong and willing to serve him."

"Yeah, but Deidara doesn't follow Jashin."

"It's not my fault that I happen to share a goal with a bunch of unfaithful freaks."

"What did you call us?"

"Leave it, Ritonno. Hidan is Hidan. Let him be. You already have a match arranged with Itachi."

"I know… I guess I'm just a little irritable because my body's messed up, y'know?"

"Definitely. I had more than my share of fights when I was young; I believe that it's important to fight as many different people as you can so that you're ready for anything."

"Definitely." Ritonno sipped her tea. "You really made the water hot, didn't you, rei-donno?"

"I like my tea to stay hot."

They finished breakfast with very few other words, except for a few greetings. Eventually, Leader was done with his breakfast, so he went upstairs and read. He heard Ritonno joking with Deidara two floors below.

That afternoon, between lunch and dinner, he heard Ritonno coming up the steps to his room. He could tell that it was Ritonno because every other step was louder than the other, there was a pause every few seconds, and he could hear the handrail creak.

He opened the door just when she got up.

"Hi, Rei-donno. Wow, my ankle hurts." Because it was Ritonno, this actually wasn't in the form of a complaint; instead, it was simply a comment.

"Would you like to sit down?"

"Sure." Apparently, she had gotten used to his random acts of kindness, even though they were few and far between. She sat down on the chair next to his map of the world.

"What did you want to talk to me about?"

"I was wondering if you wanted to talk to someone."

"Huh? Why would I do that?"

"Well, anyone with eyes can tell that you like me."

"What?!"

"Yeah. I'm not so sure that the rest of the Akatsuki has eyes in the sense that the analogy says, but I do."

"Remember your place, Ritonno."

"I'm trying to. It's just sort of… painful watching you not admitting it to yourself."

"Leave."

"Okay. But, Leader-san?"

"Yes?"

"Don't start thinking that you're above emotion. It could make you into something you don't like." She left then. To think that one of his Akatsuki members would be so outspoken to tell him what he felt! It was an outrage! Ritonno was now at the bottom of the stairs and he could hear her talking to Deidara.

Leader knew why she had done this! She was taking advantage of her injury, using it as a defense so that, if any other Akatsuki members got mad at her, she could postpone a fight until she was well again.

Leader, with his sinister thoughts, now had a "justified" reason to keep an eye on Ritonno.

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Sorry the chapter ends sort of badly… Leader is _soooooooooooooooooooo_ in denial! I find it hilarious!

Ritonno's getting better! She's so awesome! She's like a mix between an OC and a real character! …I mean, considering the cast of Naruto, the nameless character is probably going to be creepy, but Ritonno is awesome.


	2. Chapter 2

Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 2

Disclaimer: I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto.

Pockles' story is coming along great, well into it's third chapter, and she has plans for the tenth! At this point, Tobi and Deidara are fighting for the OC's love. Tobi gives her a flower and gets a kiss on the cheek, so Deidara figures that it must be one kiss per flower and produces a huge bouquet of roses, earning him only a hug and a "thank you." It's going to be funny.

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The next morning, Ritonno had only a slight limp. It seemed that her injuries were only of the flesh, not the bone, and that combined with her youth meant that she was recovering very quickly. However, her ideas became more and more chaotic as she recovered. This even included making lists of multiple ways to tick off every other Akatsuki member, including Leader himself.

Leader could only assume that she was bored.

However, he was very patient. He was able to convince Ritonno not to do any of her ideas because he knew that she would never even have thought of them if she weren't bored out of her mind.

One day, she was sitting with her notepad, giggling like a normal girl her age and adding to her list of ways to tick off Kisame. Deidara was sitting next to her.

"Are you _still_ working on those stupid lists?"

"Yup."

"Why?"

"Because I can. Until my stupid ankle heals, I can't do anything even remotely athletic except for throwing knives and shurikens, which is an ability that you don't really lose over the course of a few days, anyway."

"Mmh…"

"This concludes my 'how to piss off Rei-donno' number forty-two." Ritonno disappeared.

"Wha – was that a shadow replication jutsu?"

"Nope. It was a shadow replication _and_ a transformation jutsu, each independent of the other." Deidara turned into Ritonno. "It's actually really fun to do when you're bored; takes a lot of concentration."

"I see… How is that supposed to annoy me?"

"You always like to know which of your Akatsukis is doing what when. If I did it constantly, you would get really mad. Of course, I'm not going to since I value my own life, but hey – if I were willing to do that a bunch of times, you'd get mad."

"…"

"I told you, didn't I? Impersonation is my newest technique. I'm trying to get really good at it." Here, her voice got higher annoying, and much more excited. "Can you tell, yeah?"

"Heh… You'll do pretty well with that, I'm sure. Where _is_ Deidara, by the way? I thought he was staying with you."

"He's down in my room. My ankle's still hurt a little, but I can walk on my own now."

"I can tell. When do you think that fight with Itachi is going to happen?"

"I don't know. Probably tomorrow. Isn't it amazing how long one day can be when you don't have anything to do?"

"I know that feeling…"

"Aw, heck, we all do. We're the ignored rule-breakers who got messed up and began to desire power for ourselves so that everyone who looked down on us or ignored us would respect and fear us because we're going to rule the world!" The stars came out of her eyes as she said, "…Or at least, that's why I joined. You can tell that everyone here's messed up, though…"

"Definitely."

She held up her sketchpad, which during her illusion had looked like Deidara's. "Do you like my pictures, Rei-donno?"

They were pictures of people. They looked almost real.

"How do I know that this isn't an illusion?"

"Because my ankle hurts like hell." (This is rated T on right?)

"Oh… okay. I guess I'll take your word for it then."

"Do you like my pictures?"

"They're good. They're lifelike."

"They're people from before I moved away. That girl was my best friend… then she moved away and stuff got messed up and now I'm here. The Akatsuki is like rehab for ninjas who still want to be S-class murderers."

"I wouldn't quite describe it that way…"

"It is, though. Do you remember me when I came here? Itachi, do you remember? You ought to." Leader had heard Itachi coming into the kitchen, too. Itachi's defining feature was that there was absolutely nothing abnormal about his stride and he was a human of normal weight. If she were a bit stronger, Ritonno could be a threat to Leader's power. Fortunately, she didn't like being in positions of power; she had told him so herself.

"How do you do that?"

"You're an average weight human and your stride has no variation."

"Um… okay then… what did you ask me, again?"

"What did I act like when I came here?"

"You had issues."

"Exactly. And see? I'm okay now. At least, I feel like it."

"It's a good thing, too. You were invisible much too often then."

"I always do that when I'm with people I don't know."

"Like when you're in the city?" He said it in the same tone, but it was obviously mockery.

"I wouldn't mock someone who had a list of ways to annoy you and who's going to whoop you when her ankle feels better."

"I wouldn't count on that. Do we have any more soda?"

"You mean the ones with the marbles in the top? We're out?"

"Yeah. Why else would I ask?"

"Maybe you should go into town by yourself without any weapons and your sharingans off."

"…"

"What? Can't take a joke when it's aimed at you?"

"Just shut up." He began to leave.

"Is this about you going blind?"

He spun around. "How did you find out?!"

"Duh. I mean, you even sleep with those things on. Whenever you have them off, you say you can't see anything."

"…" -glare-

"Have you considered getting glasses?" If she didn't smirk, she would laugh. So, she smirked. Even then, she still giggled.

"Is there anything _funny_ about that?" Itachi now sounded threatening and was beginning to walk very slowly into the TV room.

"Actually, yes, since the entire point off having your sharingans is that you can see _everything._"

Itachi was now standing next to her. "When do you think we're going to have that match?"

She turned invisible and stood up. She knew that her footprints were visible on the carpet; however, once she got onto the hardwood, she would be truly invisible. "Tomorrow, perhaps. Who knows? Who do you want to moderate?"

"Kisame."

"It can't be Kisame or Deidara."

"Zetsu, then. I don't care!"

So, their match was set.

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I love making fun of the Akatsuki. It's unbelievably easy. You should try it sometimes. In school, I even call them nicknames. There's plant boy, shark boy, Hidan the cutter, Dei-chan, puppet boy, Tobi (I usually make a snide comment about how he's a "good boy"), and… yeah. Leader and Ritonno can't easily be made fun of. I usually identify Leader by his nose bridge piercings, though – they're definitely an identifying feature. Kakuzu is hard to make fun of, but I identify him by his love of money and his role in "Akatsuki: the Musical."

Life is good.


	3. Chapter 3

Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto. If I did, this wouldn't be fanfiction – it would be the official Akatsuki knockoff novel.

I forgot to tell y'all! (omg I can't believe I just used "y'all"…) Over the weekend (the end-of-April weekend, in case this isn't posted for a long time) we had to make molas. Molas are these beautiful cloth creations from panama that make two months to make, but we had a weekend and we made them with construction paper and glue.

…Anyway, my friend (Denkomaru on DeviantART) was making this beautiful, super-detailed one of a several-tailed wolf. Or maybe it was Kyuubi. I'm not sure. So, anyway, on Saturday I didn't feel like making a turtle (they're cute, but they're still turtles.) so instead I got some new construction paper (my parents bought zillions of sheets when I was younger) and made one of Kisame. Eventually, I want to make "molas" of ALL of the Akatsuki members. Dei-chan is the last of the normal members (his can't be imperfect in any way, shape, or form, or Pockles will kill me), then I'm doing Nameless and Leader, even if they haven't shown up yet in the series.

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That night, Ritonno dragged a tall stool into the kitchen and instructed Deidara, teaching him how to make takoyaki. He was freaked out by the octopus legs, but then, he didn't like dealing with any meat that looked alive. Sure, he killed people, but he didn't eat them afterwards. That was what Zetsu were for.

However, despite Deidara's exclamations over how disgusting the octopus limbs were, the takoyaki actually turned out pretty well. The Akatsuki enjoyed it enough that Deidara probably wouldn't have to do laundry the next day. Deidara seemed grateful that he could follow instructions.

The mountainous plate of takoyaki was soon finished off. Although they all had plates, no one except for Ritonno and Leader seemed to use theirs. Most of them had dedicated a large part of their day to training games in the woods, and they were hungry. Leader was hungry, too, but he controlled himself very strictly and therefore used good manners at all times except when he was acting like the S-class murderer that he was.

After dinner, everything happened as though Ritonno had never been injured: Leader went to his room as the rest of the Akatsuki piled in front of the TV, vying for couch space. Ritonno eventually ended up getting the best seat on the couch using her ankle to say that she needed to sit down on something and hopefully, it wouldn't be the floor. Since Ritonno's "hopefully" meant "get off the couch or I'll hurt you," a space was quickly made for her. Directly after the soap opera was over, she went to bed, falling asleep at about the same time as Leader and about an hour before the rest of the Akatsuki.

In the morning, she had virtually no limp. When Itachi came upstairs to have breakfast, she informed him that their fight was going to be that afternoon. He just said "hn" and was silent for the rest of breakfast. He seldom saw the purpose in talking when he hadn't been addressed.

Once again, Tobi was forced to shovel the backyard. Zetsu, their moderators, helped to set the rules, then stood back and told them to start.

Itachi rushed at Ritonno, a kunai in hand. When he was only about a foot from her, she was jumping out of the way; she then turned around, hit him in the back with one of her practice kunai, and got away from him before he could land any physical attacks. The match went on, Ritonno winning mostly by skill. She had been forbidden to turn invisible, but she was still far more agile than Itachi, who depended on strength and genjutsu to win fights. With her weapons, thrown from far away, she defeated him. It wasn't a fast battle, but hey, she wasn't in any hurry. Finally, Itachi's supposed wounds were bad enough that, in a real battle, he wouldn't be able to fight. Zetsu declared the end of the match, which Ritonno welcomed because her ankle was going to start hurting if she had to fight for too much longer.

Itachi might have avoided his loss if he hadn't rushed at Ritonno in the beginning. It gave him an idea of how fast Ritonno was, which was what he had intended to figure out, but it also gave Ritonno a good idea of how fast Itachi could move and how quickly he could gain momentum.

This led, ultimately, to his defeat.

However, he never realized this.

Leader, of course, was watching the entire thing from his attic, which looked out over every side of the Akatsuki building.

Ritonno took a bath, then for some reason decided that her hair was too long and asked if anyone in the Akatsuki knew how to do decent haircuts.

The only positive response that she got (besides the one from Deidara) was from Sasori, who said that he could, indeed, cut her hair "very short." She decided to ask Tobi if he could cut her hair. He said that he could, but not well.

Unfortunately, Ritonno didn't trust Deidara with scissors _and_ her hair.

Finally, she asked Itachi if he could cut hair so that it looked nice afterward. He said yes, but he wasn't willing to. She said that he'd better.

So he did.

With her hair still wet, Ritonno finally got her hair cut. She liked it cut in a curve so that it was shorter on the sides – that was the way that she had always worn her hair. So, she told Itachi to just take off a few inches.

Itachi, in his current loathing for her, cut it straight across. When Ritonno screeched at him, the entire Akatsuki house heard.

Every. Single. S-class. Villain.

So, Itachi was forced to cut Ritonno's hair in a curve because Leader liked quiet in the afternoon. This made Ritonno's hair much shorter than she would have liked, but since it would grow back, she wasn't as mad as she had been for the original cut.

About two seconds after Itachi had gotten out of her room, Deidara was inside of it. He could have complimented her. He could have given a normal response to seeing her with unusually short hair. But, being Dei-chan, what did he say? "You look different, yeah."

"I would hope so. Itachi just hacked off a bunch of my hair. I'd better look 'different.'"

"It's really pretty, yeah."

"Heh… I don't think so. It's too short."

"Do you think I'd look good with short hair, yeah?"

"No. You look awesome with it long."

"Okay, yeah…"

"Trust me. Guys look totally awesome with long hair. If more guys let their hair grow out, it would be soooooooo awesome…" She was now in fangirl mode.

"You're sort of scary, yeah."

She grinned widely. "I watch shounen-ai."

Deidara laughed. He was cute when he laughed, with his childish smile. "You're funny, yeah!"

"Will you pick one? You've given me three compliments so far, but which one is it? Am I pretty, scary, or funny?"

"You're just awesome, yeah!"

"I know I am." Ritonno smiled at Deidara. They had become very close since that time before Christmas when he had gotten sick; they were close enough that her pretense of being haughty was such an obvious lie that it was funny.

Itachi came back into her room. "Isn't it customary to pay someone for a haircut?" He extended his hand, waiting.

Ritonno looked at him as though to say, "get out of my room, freak. I'm not giving you any money!"

Then, Realization came over her face and she simply looked exasperated. "Kakuzu, drop the illusion."

The masked, money-obsessed, five-hearted, sewn-together Akatsuki member turned back into himself. "How could you tell it was me?"

"Well, you acted like Itachi, but you felt different. I can't really explain it. Itachi just feels sort of… threatening and emo and closed off."

"I heard that!"

"Yeah, and you know it's true!" She was obviously very used to communicating with Itachi through the wall. She turned back to Kakuzu. "…Anyway, you're more… normal, kind of. Itachi probably would have brought it up at dinner because we all know that he could never be bothered to walk all the way into the next room just to ask for payment for something he didn't even want to do in the first place."

"Oh."

"If he were feeling particularly un-apathetic – that's really the only way to describe it, he's not really lazy, per se, but he doesn't usually seem to see the sense in doing anything besides practicing his fighting arts – he _might_ decide to walk in here, but since he's not in an absolutely _wonderful_ mood, he would never do that."

"Whoa, yeah. How do you do that?"

"What?"

"How did you…? Just now, yeah…"

"You mean psychology? It's this process called 'paying attention' and 'having feelings.' Those two processes help me to understand what people are like based on their background, personality, and relationships. For example, if someone noticed that I like to hang around with you, they might determine that I like children."

"You're mean, yeah!"

"I know. And, since I know Itachi so well, I can determine most of his actions when his mind is working as it does normally."

"That's just amazing, yeah!"

"Yep." Then she turned to Kakuzu. "Why are you still in my room?"

Kakuzu proceeded to get out of her room, then (it being dark outside) she decided to make dinner.

She became aware that Leader was watching her. She was relatively confident that he had been for awhile, but if she showed any surprise, she would look bad.

So, she made a casual comment that as long as he was watching her he could at least show himself to her.

"I'm practicing your technique. Aren't you happy?"

"Yes, but if I were thinking logically, I wouldn't be."

"Continue…"

"Well, if you can do everything I can, then wouldn't that make me worthless as anything other than your slight inferior?"

"Good answer. That's exactly why I've never told anyone how I do my moves."

"Really? So you were listening when I told Deidara how emo I used to be?"

"I hear everything."

"I know you do. That doesn't mean you have to pay attention."

"That's correct."

"…But, since you have a crush on me, you do."

He tried to think of something witty to say, as he normally would, but he couldn't so he left, escaping to his attic where no one could enter if he didn't say they could.

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These chapters seem to end with Leader being a recluse in his attic. Obviously, he's still in denial. I love how Ritonno's the only one who realizes it…

Somehow, I don't have anything to write. I just took a bath, so my hair's all wet (as it will be for a few hours) and it's 9:13 and I'm wearing pajamas and a polyester kimono-pattern robe with an authentic Japanese sash-thing. Life is awesome, but somehow I can't remember what I wanted to write.

Bet you thought this would be Ritonno/Deidara when this started.

This chapter reads pretty quickly, considering that it's four pages. If I took out the comments, it would probably be most of three.


	4. Chapter 4

Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 4

Disclaimer: As stated many times previously, I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto. Also, Suzimi has the best fan comics ever.

Somehow, I find myself almost writing "Deidara's Troubles" as the heading to these chapters. So, I guess this should be from Deidara's viewpoint, at least for awhile, because I obviously want to use his state of mind.

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Leader had been acting strangely lately.

He had been spending a lot of time downstairs with the rest of the Akatsuki. He had even learned Ritonno's invisibility technique.

Something was going to happen.

Deidara didn't know what it was, but Leader was changing. Who could know if the change would be good or bad? Who could tell, once it was over, if they were really any better off to have Leader, who refused to give his name, instead of Orochimaru. Obviously, they were never going to get Oro back, but how did they know that Leader was really such a great commander?

"So, you're afraid?" Deidara jumped. He had been so absorbed in his own thoughts that he hadn't even noticed Leader.

"I'm not afraid, yeah; just cautious. Can you read minds, yeah?"

"I can communicate with you through our minds. Obviously, I have a relatively strong link to your mind."

Deidara didn't know what to do. Would he be thrown out of the Akatsuki for thinking that maybe Leader wasn't really such a great leader?

"No. Come with me."

Deidara followed him up into the attic. "Do you know why we're here, Deidara?"

"So that we can talk in private, yeah?"

"Exactly. Do you know why that's so important?"

"Um… I'm not sure that I do, yeah."

"If the other members were to have similar doubts, some of them might decide that I'm really not such a great leader. I know that Ritonno's thought about things like that, but she's loyal and she likes her place. You're obviously no threat because you accept me as your leader and I'm pretty sure that you hate Orochimaru because he betrayed the Akatsuki and stole one of our rings."

Deidara inspected the ring on his right index finger. It said "blue," but the kanji could also mean "green." Japanese colors aren't very descriptive. If he ever lost his ring, he could be thrown out of the Akatsuki. It was the symbol of his membership and loyalty, not only to Leader, but also to the other members.

Unfortunately, this also included Sasori.

"Yes, it does. It's really too bad that neither of you can see the truth about art."

"What do you think it is, yeah?"

"Nothing lasts forever, but nothing should be entirely impermanent. Your birds are works of art, but they aren't entirely impermanent because they fly around before they explode; someday, Sasori and his puppets will be beyond repair and they will end. Neither of you is right, but neither of you are wrong, either."

"…And neither of us will ever agree because we've argued about this for so long, right, yeah?"

"Exactly. But, you were wondering about Orochimaru. Whether or not he's a better leader than I am – I really have considered it, believe it or not – he's not coming back. He took his ring and left, which is definitely theft and punishable by law, but then so is our occupation, so we can't do anything about it. What's more, he's in hiding in the land of Sound. If I ever find that ring, I'm sending Ritonno out… But then, you don't really think about long-term strategies much, do you?"

"Hardly ever, yeah!"

There was a pause.

"Why are you still here?"

"Bye, yeah!" Deidara hadn't known that the conversation was over. It hadn't sounded over. So, he got out while he still appeared to be ahead.

For fun, he decided to bug Sasori.

"Hi, Sasori-danna, yeah."

"Hello, Deidara."

"Whatcha doin', yeah?"

"I'm making a wooden puppet."

"Like you, yeah?"

"I'm not wooden."

"…But you're a puppet, yeah."

"I would think that that, at least, would be obvious."

Pause.

"What are you doing to it, yeah?"

"I'm sanding the arms."

"So, you made them, but you don't want them to stay the way you made them, yeah?"

"Get out of my room, Deidara." Sasori recognized this conversation. It always went this way:

Deidara: what are you doing?

Sasori: I'm working on a puppet. I'm changing the shape of its limbs/torso/head/whatever else to suit my needs.

Deidara: So you made it but you don't want it to stay that way? So much for a "lasting work of art."

Sasori: I'm changing its appearance because when it's done it needs to last and perform well.

Deidara would then make another comment concerning how nothing was actually permanent because:

1. All matter is made up of little pieces of electricity buzzing around little balls of stuff.

2. Everything erodes eventually

3. Through being used, its posture would change, making even Sasori's style of art not-quite-permanent

4. Anything else he could think of that would either prove his point or disprove Sasori's

Sasori would eventually get mad (it took a much shorter time than it had when they had met) and tell Deidara to get out of his room, but the stupid idiot always managed to wander back in so that they could hold the exact same discussion.

It always went that way.

Always.

So, he proceeded to make his puppet. After awhile, though, he felt someone watching him. So he turned around. There was no one there.

"Um… Ritonno-san?"

No answer.

It was just him, then.

A few seconds after he had turned back to his puppet, he heard her laughing. When he turned around again, there she was.

"What's so funny?"

"You… you didn't… haha!!!" After a few more seconds, she managed to calm down enough to speak. "Whenever you think I'm there, I probably am. I mean, if you get paranoid, I'm not going to be there _all_ the time, but seriously! You honestly thought I wasn't there?"

"I'm not Leader-sama."

"Wow. Biggest understatement ever. You're not Leader. You want a hint?" She began to whisper loudly. "_We know!!!_"

Glare. "Ritonno-san, get out of my room."

"Why?"

"Because you're annoying and I'm trying to make a puppet."

"Heh… okay. Bye, then!" She turned invisible as she walked out. Obviously, she was once again bored.

But the annoyances didn't stop there! Zetsu came in asking if he had any ammonium nitrate. They explained that they were still slightly addicted to it and they were out of patches.

Sasori had wondered how they had gotten obscure chemical patches in the first place.

Zetsu moved on and Sasori was able to sand the upper arm of the puppet. That had been his goal from the beginning. Leader had always complained that the sawdust got into the tatami mat, especially since, when it piled up, Sasori just swept it all out into the hall, but Sasori himself was perfectly content to just sand the wood. When it was done, he rubbed a special oil on it that made it shiny and gave it a strong finish. Life was good.

It would be better if Deidara weren't a part of it, though.

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These chapters seem to be really depressing at the ends. I mean, this isn't really all that "depressing" since it's been so crazy, but the last paragraph or sentence or whatever always seems to be more calm, and usually more sad, than the line/paragraph before it. I guess it's just good for winding down the chapter.

I went to Brownie play day! I showed the little Brownie Girl Scouts my pictures (and Pocka-chan and Denka-chan showed them theirs) and we had these groups of brownies surrounding us! They sere SO CUTE!!!! …Also, if you're on DeviantART, look forward to more pictures like Akatsuki in Yukata (and perhaps I'll also run them through GIMP and make the colors smooth) including one of Itachi where I used Pocky-machine's favorite skin tone and IT LOOKS LIKE REAL ANIME! …Except for a part of his nose where the Sharpie paused so there are dots. But you can ignore those.

The Akatsuki have awesome nails. Their nail polish would have come off by now, wouldn't it?


	5. Chapter 5

Akatsuki Issues

By Magewriter

Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I own nothing by Masashi Kishimoto and the plot wouldn't have developed this way if not for Suzimi.

Well, I started out this chapter by writing "Akatsuki Issues," so I guess I don't need to start with Deidara. I want to do Ritonno this time. Since this story is mine and I control it, that's who this chapter is going to start with.

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That day, or rather that afternoon because Leader wasn't a morning person, they painted each other's nails. Ritonno was, unfortunately, paired with Leader.

She redid her nail polish in her room and notified everyone else that she was going to be gone for the next few days. Leader was okay with it, so she packed her old sleepover bag and left, leaving Deidara a few recipes so that he wouldn't have to do laundry and the Akatsuki wouldn't have to eat fish, and left.

She knew that Leader was following her; however she had no objection since he was nowhere nearby when she set up camp at night.

Finally, she arrived in the Grass village, her former home. Her friends being civilians and not involved with the Akatsuki at all, she had known that they would be safe when she left; however, they had left soon before she disowned her village because she had become violent and angry. It would be nice to see them again.

Before she came to the entrance of the village, she tied on her Grass headband from a few weeks before. Then, she told Leader to go home. She held a conversation with him in his invisible state, not wanting to force him to expose his identity, then entered the village.

At least now he wouldn't be so obvious.

She went to their old hangout, a restaurant that sold inexpensive but relatively healthy and good-tasting food. They had always gone there after training (they were in the same group under the same Jounin master) to talk and act like normal teenaged girls.

They always got there at 4:07 in the afternoon. At 4:05, Ritonno, now acting like a normal girl her age, ordered a plate of gyouza, which had nine pieces on it, very easy to split between three people.

Surely enough, her old friends wandered into the restaurant exactly two minutes later. They were shocked to see Ritonno there, especially since they hadn't seen her in months and she had been depressed then.

They spent at least half an hour catching up with each other; they had all sorts of stories about their training and she told them about Deidara, blowing up the Christmas tree for Chrismas, and all of the crazy things that had happened to the Akatsuki members. Leader was in the opposite corner, but she wasn't about to expose him.

Finally, they came to the questions that she had avoided.

"So… what's the name of this organization you joined?"

Ritonno couldn't give a verbal answer. They had been too close before her depression to say that she was evil now.

Instead, she slid her new headband across the table.

"Are you crazy, Ritonno?! How could you?"

"I was messed up. You know that. I was angry. So I went somewhere where there were other violent maniacs who wouldn't take any of the stuff I said. I got better. I'm functional now. I don't expect you to join or accept that I joined, but I wanted to see you two again. Is there any chance I could spar against Jounin-danna one last time?"

"Tomorrow, I guess… This is awkward. I don't know whether I should give you a sympathetic hug or try to kill you."

"Please don't make me hurt you. It would ruin today."

"Okay, but I can't make any promises about tomorrow."

"Fine with me. Just let me fight Jounin-danna first. Now that I'm okay, I'm actually a really good fighter. You have no idea what your mental state does to your control."

"You haven't changed at all, have you, Ritonno? It's so hard to remember that I'm supposed to hate you now."

"I know! …I wonder where I should sleep tonight."

"You can stay at my place! Remember, I'm a year older than you, so I have my own place now."

"Oh, yeah. You were always the independent one… That would be great, thank you."

"Do you want to see it?"

"Sure! What time do you wake up? I get up at five-thirty nowadays to go for a run in the morning."

"That's nice. I still get up at seven. You can take one heckuva run in an hour."

"Oh. No, I don't eat breakfast before I go running; I'll eat with you. I'll get up at six or so and eat with you."

"Okay. Come with me!"

Just outside of her friend's apartment, she went back about a block and told Leader that he could stop watching them, she wasn't going to give away the position of the Akatsuki building or say anything other than silly stories about the Akatsuki.

Leader was gone the next day as she walked to their old meeting ground. They met up with their other friend and their Jounin teacher soon followed. She was surprised that Ritonno was there, but with no knowledge of Ritonno's Akatsuki membership, she was more than happy to spar.

This was where Ritonno was surprised. Before, her teacher had always been better than her. By the time she had gotten anywhere near strong enough to defeat her, she hadn't cared enough to try hard enough to beat her.

Now, she quickly defeated the Jounin, meaning that she would stay at least one more night to be made an official Jounin.

She had no idea that it would be that easy.

Not wanting to impose, but not having anywhere better to stay, she stayed overnight with her friend again. That afternoon, she had helped to teach the less experienced girl effective moves and how to identify the position of any person, no matter how well concealed.

At the end of the day, she was a bit tired and when she went back to talk to Leader, she told him that he really could go home and she wasn't going to tell any Akatsuki secrets. He was mad at her for teaching her friend how to fight her, so she told him to send someone else to fight in the Grass village.

The next day, she got her Jounin vest. It wasn't particularly a point of pride for her; it simply proved to other people that she had the skills that she already knew that she had. The ceremony happened in the morning, so she ran home with Leader. They arrived a little bit before dinner would have happened.

Back in the Akatsuki commune, Deidara welcomed them home and Leader dragged her up both flights of stairs to talk.

"…So, you're a Jounin now."

"I always wanted to be. It's not about the vest or anything; I just wanted to know that I had the skills."

"Of course you have the skills! But, now you're on the Grass village's list of elite ninjas!"

"Yes. The Grass village, my home, which no longer holds my clan, has my name as one of their elite ninjas. They don't have any information about my leaving."

"Oh. You're right. Why didn't I think of that?"

"Because you didn't want another of your Akatsukis to leave and you like me."

"Will you stop that?!?!?!?!"

"No. It's part of who I am. I answer rhetorical questions all the time."

"Heh… You didn't tell your friends anything while I wasn't watching you, were you?"

"No! Of course not! What kind of person do you think I am?!"

"Just checking…"

"The thing is, once you've been in enough fights with someone, you know exactly what they're like. We were always fighting Jounin-sensei, and we were perfectly coordinated. There wasn't anything keeping us from beating her except for our skill level. My other friend, too. We're all really close, and they know little enough about the Akatsuki that just leaving my city makes sense, considering how emo I was when I left. Trust me, if she was mad, she would have told me."

"Okay."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Good. Deidara should be making dinner right about now."

She went down both flights of stairs and changed into her plain black yukata, tied with her informal Akatsuki obi. She went up to the kitchen (Itachi got a little bit mad at her for being so slow on the stairs, so she bunny-hopped up the rest of them. It wasn't graceful, but it worked) and saw that Deidara was successfully making sukiyaki. Everyone grabbed a bowl, Ritonno took Leader's portion up to him, and they had their dinner.

Deidara's sukiyaki was actually relatively good.

She told everyone about her trip to the Grass village, which forced her to tell them that it was her hometown and she had three friends there, including two who she was really close to, and Deidara apologized for blowing up their Christmas tree. Ritonno laughed and told him that it was okay, it was nice to laugh at your own village every once-in-awhile.

They watched their soap opera and went to bed. Ritonno felt good knowing that she was at Jounin level, her ankle no longer hurt, and she had seen her friends again.

Life was good.

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I'm officially ending this story. I only expected to have a few chapters in the first place. The fact that I've written nineteen chapters is amazing. I know that I never really got Ritonno and Leader together, but if you look at the license I use on these stories, it's a share-alike license. That means that, if you ask me, I'll let you use this story, Ritonno's name, this plot (different points of view can change a story drastically), my characterizations, or even write a sequel to this (or Deidara's Troubles) as long as you give credit to both me and Suzimi, and perhaps Goldenrodfairy, who gives us Akatsuki: the Musical on Youtube. If you want, you can see her DeviantART account at goldenrodfairy. and see her… Well, I think she only has favorites. No pics or stories or anything yet. Too bad, she has great cosplays!


End file.
